Transcript: How To Know You’re In A Twin Flame Relationship

Mar 27, 2023

twin flame, soul mate,

How To Know You’re In A Twin Flame Relationship

Whitney (00:00):

Do you have a twin flame? What is a twin flame? How do you get one? All of that inside of this week’s episode of the Spiritual and Ambitious Podcast and I have a special guest, my husband. We’re gonna get into all the juicy details, so stay with me.

 Whitney (00:23):

Welcome to Spiritual and Ambitious. I’m your host Whitney McNeil. I’m a certified medium and spiritual teacher, and I help spiritual and ambitious souls just like you live your life purpose through your career and attract abundance by connecting into your intuition and spirit guide. Let’s get spiritual and ambitious.

 Whitney (00:49):

Welcome to another episode of the Spiritual and Ambitious podcast. I’m your host, Whitney McNeil, and today I have my husband Chris here on the podcast. I’ve been trying to get him on for months and we made it through the tech glitches. I wanted to bring him on to dive more into the twin flame relationship. So I guess I should let you say hi, right?

 Chris (01:15):

Yeah. Hey everyone. I’m Chris. I’m the hubby.

 Whitney (01:19):

That’s right, he is. And when we first got together, some of you who are listening already know this story. It was surprising. I was coming out of a first marriage. I was separated and I had no interest in dating anybody, but I had a really strong connection to my spirit guides and what was interesting is I actually had met Chris somewhere before. It was an event that I did and I didn’t think anything of it. And when I was in my separation, I was doing a psychic fair, I was doing readings and all of a sudden Chris showed up. And then in the middle of my reading, I almost told him he was gonna be in a relationship with me. It didn’t come out of my mouth, thank goodness but he said by the end of the reading, I was facing the other wall like embarrassed. I wouldn’t even look at him and he had no idea what was happening but I was really off at my guides.

 Chris (02:19):

I thought I offended you because I was trying to give you a tip and you’re like turning the other way.

 Whitney (02:25):

I just wanted you to go.

 Chris (02:26):

Did I say something wrong? And the funny thing is that morning I had an appointment with somebody else and when I got there I looked at who was on the list and I was like, oh, why don’t I just switch it? For some reason, I felt like I should switch it to Whitney and that’s it.

 Whitney (02:38):

And from there on, I had this conversation with my guides like, this is inappropriate. Oh my gosh, you know, if you’re trying to even get us together, you better show me some signs. So I actually took my lunch break, went out to eat and then came back parked in my parking spot as I’m talking to my guides. I’m so mad. I said, you better gimme some signs and I look and there you are in the parking spot next to me. I had no idea what car you drove and you’re just waving like, hey. And I thought, really? Really? So from there on we kind of got the hint and we started to notice that we were really similar but opposite at the same time. We would go to events and we did some sort of reading where we looked at our names or our astrology and I was like, something, something sun. And you were like something, something sea like the earth, which was really interesting. So I tend to be more of the connecting with spirit and Chris tended to be more of the earth plane kind of energy, but we were opposite yet similar. So do you wanna speak to that a little bit?

 Chris (03:54):

Yeah, I think that’s why we’re great mirrors for each other because we have different approaches, but at the same time we have the same goal. So we want to get to the same place, we wanna learn the same lessons, but we approach it in a different way so it has to make us patient. It has to make us look at our selves and how we approach things and how we think.

 Whitney (04:14):

Yeah. And I feel like many people out there are listening going, well this is great, but what’s a twin flame relationship or what do you think? Why are you talking about this? So many people will ask me about, I wanna find my twin flame, I wanna find my soulmate. And I feel like twin flames are different than soulmates and there’s a lot of different definitions as to what a twin flame relationship is. So I wanna ask you Chris, what do you feel the definition is?

 Chris (04:46):

I think a twin flame is part of the same soul. So somehow or another, I’m not sure how the science works on it, but somehow or another there’s a split, but not maybe a complete split or something to where you’re supposed to come together, like with source, right? We split away from source, I think to incarnate into this life and where a soulmate may be more like a soul family or a lesson or something like that. I think twin flames are similar, but they just come together for more of a broad purpose, like a spiritual purpose or something more grand. And I don’t mean that other people don’t have grand things to do in their life, I just think there’s just a goal that you have to come together for.

 Whitney (05:25):

So how would you describe being of the same soul? Can you kind of give us a little bit more insight as to what you believe in there?

 Chris (05:33):

Yeah, I think it’s like the ocean. So the ocean is to me is like spirit, right, or source where that’s just the conglomerate of everything and then we break away from source, and I just think we break away from source in different ways. So I think a twin flame may just break away in a different way and still stay connected in a way that an individual may not. Does that make sense?

 Whitney (05:55):

Yeah. I’m trying to wrap my head around it. To be honest, I’m not sure what I believe with it. When I first started out in this topic, I was saying pretty much the same soul and that still might be what I believe. Well, one thing I know is that I couldn’t ignore all of the signs and symptoms of things that we had. So I like to be skeptical at some topics, but also I have to be experiencing them. And I remember when you and I first started talking, we could feel each other really well so I was really attuned to your energy. I knew when your heart was racing or slowing down, or what’s going on or where you felt certain energy or emotions and you felt similarly too, like feeling the energy, which I talk about y’all at the time on the podcast and I talk about you being an empath, like you feel energy too. So some people might say, well, Chris is an empath so you know, they, maybe

 Chris (06:59):

It was different because we could even do it at distance versus others. It was more of a close personal thing. And I think we kind of grew into just being normal so I don’t know, it doesn’t actually pop up in my head anymore. But yeah, in the beginning it was very much a new thing for me and I think very different from both of us.

 Whitney (07:18):

Yeah, something about the energy is different. I will say that for sure and there were so many similarities and when we looked back at our paths and our lives, there were so many other times we could have met as well and just a lot of different energy connections and lessons that we needed to learn. So some people might ask us, Chris, you know, how do you know you’re in a twin flame relationship? What are the symptoms of it? So what do you feel they are?

 Chris (07:49):

Hmm, the symptoms of the relationship? I think it’s very similar if you were to look up, not in awakening, but just like when we have these spiritual awakenings, we start being more intuitive, trusting our gut, having these things happen that kind of open our eyes and open our mind to the possibility of spirit. So I think, I think with us it was different symptoms. That’s a good question, right?

 Whitney (08:15):

I caught you off guard. That’s always fun.

 Chris (08:18):


 Whitney (08:19):

I mean, people are looking at relationships saying, is this my twin flame? And so many people want to have a twin flame relationship. It’s kind of this hype word too and there is a part of me that sometimes says, this is BS, like I don’t know about this. But then when I look at what our experiences have been, it’s really hard to ignore it.

 Chris (08:40):

Well, and also if I were to give you all the symptoms in the beginning of it being hard, it being a mirror, it making you work on yourself. I mean, I don’t wanna know that anybody wants that right away unless they’re ready for it. And two, if I gave those symptoms, they might be in a bad relationship and those are the same symptoms. So not a bad, you know what I’m saying? But if someone, if you’re putting heads and you’re trying to figure stuff out and it’s really intense. I think the symptoms, I would be careful with the symptoms.

 Whitney (09:11):

Yeah. But I think at first we didn’t have any of that. Like, it felt very intense, almost like a strong attraction. And the whole time I was saying, I realized this is intense. I realized that things are happening and I am being very aware. I’m observing myself because I know for sure I’m not getting in an unhealthy relationship. So I feel like you have to have that presence and that awareness when you go into a relationship because I do think that a lot of people make excuses and just say, oh, it’s supposed to be intense. I’m gonna put up with all this BS just because, you know, this is my twin flame.

 Chris (09:53):

It’s gotta be, you’ve gotta feel that it’s gotta feel, right? It’s gotta, you know, come from your intuition, dig down in and we didn’t even know what twin flame was. We just felt like there’s some crazy intense connection and then we started researching it cuz somebody else gave us a reading I think and said that, and it was funny because they, she didn’t know and then that stuff lined up with what we were doing. And even spirit, when I looked back at like journaling during that time when I got a reading from you, those dates that you told me were important end up being dates that you and I met again and had no idea until after we started, you know, being together that I looked back and was like, oh, funny.

 Whitney (10:34):

Yeah, I feel like those synchronicities, spirit really had to slap me in the face or I wouldn’t have gone into another relationship and that’s a key indication. Your spirit guides are kind of throwing you together over and over because a lot of times flaming relationships don’t happen because the people aren’t ready. They’re not ready to work on themselves to grow to, you know, be open to transition and change. Sometimes one of them is and the other isn’t and that doesn’t really go well. I think we both were in this place. I was already doing readings and open to growth and you were already, let’s say a student of spirituality, if you will, really being open and learning more too. So I’d say a symptom is intense, this throwing together kind of feeling, but also a feeling of alignment too.

 Chris (11:25):

Yeah. Not just normal synchronicity like you would have with friends and family. This wasn’t synchronicity to the point that it was crazy and then you having that heart come up on your shoulder, you know, that we have a picture of which is pretty crazy. So I mean, there’s like synchronicity and then there’s like, okay,

 Whitney (11:45):

Now everybody is gonna be asking you about that heart picture. I’m gonna have to show it. I gotta figure out how to do that. I’ll have to link to it in the show notes. So there’s this time where Chris was chatting with me before we were getting together, but I had already known at this point what my spirit guide said, you know, we were gonna be in a relationship, but I was resistant. So Chris started talking to me, and by the way, he would pull cards and every time he’d pull cards, he’d get the marriage card or the twin flame card. He’d be like, why do I pull these cards when I, like, yeah. So while I was talking with Chris, and this was online, my coworker, we were out at lunch, said, what’s that heart sticker you have on your chest?

 Whitney (12:30):

And I said, I don’t have a heart sticker on my chest. She said, you need to go to the mirror and look and there was this heart that had popped up on my skin perfectly. Nothing was there. It wasn’t itching like it was just there. So those kind of synchronicities is what we’re talking about. But also just this intensity, almost a fulfillment, a completion when you’re with the person and just, I feel like a lot of joya lot of excitement and almost like, oh my gosh, I’ve known you for so long, where have you been? But then comes some of the lessons and the challenges, so let’s talk about that when we come back right after this quick break.

 Whitney (13:15):

This episode is sponsored by my free spirit guide masterclass. Inside, you’ll learn the five Cs of spirit guide communication, your role with your spirit guides, two proven effective strategies to stop second guessing yourself and your intuition, and the single most important step to understand your intuitive guidance along with four ways to perceive your spiritual intuitive messages. You’ll also be getting a workbook to go through this class as well. You can join messengerofspirit.com/freeclass.

 Whitney (13:51):

Hey there, thanks for hanging out with me. I have my husband here and we’re talking about twin flame relationships and what that looks like. So we’ve talked about some of the symptoms of what it can be, but now we’re gonna talk about some of the challenges as well, ad we alluded to this a little bit before, but there are certain challenges when you’re in a twin flame relationship where you can be presented with working on yourself. You’ve really, on a sole level, promised each other, Hey, we’re going to be together to help just get shit done. We’re going to flatten out all of the bumps in the road and we are going to learn our lessons, whatever that might be, in a short period of time, right, and life is short too, but like as very intense. So if there’s something about yourself that you are noticing patterns, guess who’s gonna notice it? Your partner. And with your partner, it might get really annoying fast that you have to work on this to deal with these things and these lessons can be lessons of trust. These lessons can be lessons of giving, receiving openness, compromise. Some of the normal relationship stuff, but I’m talking about some of those lessons on a deep soul level that you need to be learning too. And so, do you kind of know off the top of your head. It’s been a while since we talked about this. The great news is we didn’t plan this. We just wanted to have a real authentic conversation. What’s are some of the lessons you’ve learned?

 Chris (15:29):

Emotional maturity

 Whitney (15:31):

What are some of the challenges we’ve had?

 Chris (15:32):

Yeah, I think communication. Obviously, it’s like taking any relationship to me. This is my experience and then time is gonna by a hundred. So in the short time having that mirror kind of shining back at you, the difference is I was open to it. Maybe in past relationships I was a little more, you know, pigheaded or I wasn’t, you know, or thought I was right. But in this case it was very vulnerable, it’s very tough to look at yourself truly in the mirror and then be able to accept what that person says back to you. So I think that was a big challenge for me is letting go ego, being vulnerable and looking at all that crap that I’ve let build up, right? Whether it’s filters that I look through or experiences that I’ve had or whatever. It’s like breaking yourself down and just trying to become a better person.

 Whitney (16:22):

Yeah, I feel like there are definitely triggers that in twin flame relationships, it like gets under your skin that no one else has ever gotten before. So for me and for you, sometimes if there’s a disagreement it feels like flat like fire, you know, like somebody poured the gas on there. But of course, you know, within reason it’s justyou know, you’ve gotta work on it. You know, this is something that you both have, have chosen to do this. And again, I think people who are in unhealthy relationships will use that excuse where they’re not really realizing that the other person may not be so open to working on themselves so both of you have to be open on working on yourself. And there’s times where I think both of us wanted to quit, but I would never have done it and I’m so glad that we, that we have been together, it’s been amazing. The positives outweigh the challenges that we’ve had, but there’s always some sort of challenge as we grow together and learn more and the good news is when you have gotten over some of these hurdles, it’s kind of like, oh, I can breathe, like I’m good, maybe I’ll be good for several years, you know. But it’s that time when you really haven’t gotten the lesson, I feel like it is almost like you’re in a fire being transformed and there’s so much beauty in that fire too.

 Chris (17:56):

Yeah, especially when you can be patient, learn to be patient with yourself and your partner.

 Whitney (18:01):

Hmm. Patience is so important. So I’m gonna ask you, what do you feel people need to do to attract. I already know my answer, but what do you think people need to do to attract their twin flame relationship if they are supposed to have one? Not everybody has one in this lifetime.

 Chris (18:17):

I would say work on yourself. I’d say spend all the time you can, working on yourself, getting healthy self-love, that kind of thing and before you know it, bang, you know, don’t search for it. Let it find you kinda thing.

 Whitney (18:30):

Yeah. People have always asked me, when am I gonna find my relationship with spiritual relationships? Spirit will never give me a timeframe unless it’s like really close because the answer is you need to stop thinking about the relationship and work on yourself, and when you stop thinking about wanting to be in one and you start being open and working on yourself, then spirit creates opportunity for that person to come in. When you are constantly trying to track the twin flame, it’s just pushing it almost farther away. And one, you don’t even know if the twin flame is incarnated this lifetime too, but let’s just say your perfect partner, it’s all energy. It’s, it reminds me of puzzle pieces and we kind of looked at ourselves like that, where it’s, oh, we go together really easily. Our energy just kind of fits, so much so that in human design, when you and I are together, every little centers lit up. I mean that was one of the things.

 Chris (19:31):

It’s hard to, you don’t have, I light up the places, I don’t have you light up. So yeah, it’s pretty crazy, all these synchronicities and things that you’re just like, yep, yep, there’s another one.

 Whitney (19:40):

Yeah, and because all the centers are lit up, it can be pretty intense too, just energy wise, but it also makes us great manifestors together as well. So I feel like that’s really the key of working on yourself, making sure that you’re ready for it and when you’re ready for it, you have to be in a place where you can allow somebody else into your life. I say that and our listeners might be saying, but you weren’t Whitney. You’re coming out of a divorce. Actually I was ready for it. The relationship had really ended ahead of time, like before we actually did the things like with the paperwork. So I energetically had been working on myself for a very long time in the spiritual realm and I was very clear with what I did not want and spirit was, you’re ready for this, here we go. This is the perfect timing so I think that that has to be part of it. So I wanna just say, what would you tell everybody who wants to be ready for it? What would you tell everybody? Any kind of advice to give them?

 Chris (20:53):

I would say again, if you have worked on yourself and you’re in a good place, then just be ready to grow. Get ready to work and others, it’s very beautiful but also don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid of working on yourself. I mean, I’ve never grown like this ever in my entire life and it’s like a certain amount of time and I feel better for it. I’m grateful for it.

 Whitney (21:20):

Absolutely. So what do you feel you’ve taken away thus far because the journey’s not over? What have you learned? What are the positives of being in the twin flame relationship?

 Chris (21:33):

I think we’ve said a lot of them already. So patience, like true loving, being vulnerable. I’m very much a talker, so I’ve tried to learn more to take a pause instead of just reacting or speaking. And so for me personally, it helps to think before I speak which is not something I did before. So I think a lot of those just, I feel like I’ve become a better person in general and I feel like I’ve put in the work too.

 Whitney (22:00):

Yeah. And I feel like people might be listening and saying, well, can’t you get this from any relationships? So I’m just trying to narrow in on how does that different than a relationship? Would you say the speed, the intensity and the intense positive as well?

 Chris (22:21):

Yeah, I think speed, intensity, the fact that I wanted to, that I look forward to it and it just feels right. In past relationships, I might have gone through the same stuff, but I didn’t want to or I didn’t feel the need to. So there, there was a catalyst here, I dunno how to explain that, but there was a catalyst that said this is important and this is what you need to do.

 Whitney (22:49):

Yeah. I think that really this forces you to love yourself and love somebody else all at the same time and that’s a great point. You’re still motivated because you love the person so much that you do wanna work on it even through the hard times versus I feel like non twin flame relationships and I’m gonna give up because it’s too hard. And I’m sure our listeners are like, wow, this must be really challenging cuz we’re focusing on it. But to be honest, where we are at the moment, I feel like we don’t, I feel like I need to knock on wood, like we don’t have any challenges right now or if they are, they’re minor.

 Chris (23:30):

We’ve had our cycles. I think especially over the last good little bit, we’ve been great. I mean, I think we, we just go through cycles like any relationship, but it’s just more intense an, I guess we can just say the difference is follow your gut look for those synchronicities, check in with yourself and it’s almost like a, not a way a doctor may put things together, right? There’s no test you can take to say, oh you guys are twin flames. It’s a bunch of things put together that that says, okay, these symptoms, these experiences, this intensity all comes together and then that’s what usualy it.

 Whitney (24:10):

Yeah, I mean the reward is definitely worth it and where we are now and where we started as well, those are the fun times. I feel like the journey in between it can be a little challenging, but it’s like the pressure makes the diamond and the after effects of the fire is beautiful, all this new growth and your love and support and I truly would not do this with anybody else, nor do I want to so yeah,

 Chris (24:42):

Me neither.

 Whitney (24:42):

Definitely glad we found each other. And for all of you listening or watching talk to your spirit guides, that is hands down how they got us together because I never wanted to have another relationship. Spirit literally put you in my chair and just kept going over and over and over. So talk to your guides and some of the most beautiful things can occur. I mean, you and I have since we’ve been together. I adopted Skylar. We moved our entire family across the country to Sedona, Arizona. We started businesses, you sold your business. I’ve pivoted my business, we bought our dream house, we love our vacations and travel and truly have learned that we are each other’s best friend and love. So

 Chris (25:34):


 Whitney (25:35):

That’s how it is and I’m so appreciative. So Chris, anything else that you wanna share with our listeners today?

 Chris (25:42):

I would say, again, don’t go searching for anything. Just let’s spirit in the universe brings you some amazing stuff and maybe twin flame is for you, maybe it’s not, but just enjoy life and live it to the fullest.

 Whitney (25:56):

I think that’s good words of wisdom there. All right, well thank you so much for hanging out with me. You know, I love you and thank you everybody for listening. I will be back next Wednesday with a brand new episode, but until then, here’s to staying spiritual and ambitious.

 Whitney (26:15):

Thanks so much for listening to this episode, and if you loved it, would you please share it with a friend? I would also love your review and a reminder to subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can find me at messengerofspirit.com and you can take the Four Intuitive Languages quiz and find show notes there too. If you wanna connect on YouTube, Facebook, or Instagram, you can find me @messengerofspirit. I’ll meet you right here next week. Here’s to staying spiritual and ambitious.

 Speaker 3 (26:53):

This podcast is part of the Sound Advice FM Network, Sound advice FM, Women’s Voices, Amplified.

Questions? Contact us here.