personal stylist

How To Find Your Signature Style

Whitney (00:00):

Welcome to Spiritual and Ambitious. I’m your host, Whitney McNeil. I’m a certified medium and spiritual teacher, and I help spiritual and ambitious souls just like you live your life purpose through your career and attract abundance by connecting into your intuition and spirit guide. Let’s get spiritual and ambitious.

Whitney (00:31):

Welcome to another episode of the Spiritual and Ambitious podcast. I am so excited for today’s episode. I have my friend and colleague on this show and she is going to talk about how spirituality and style go together. So tell you a little bit about my guest, it’s Lauren Messiah. She’s a personal stylist and founder of the Style Boss Academy. Lauren’s revolutionizing the way people dress through her comprehensive approach to elevating one’s life through style, working from the inside out. I love that she does this with her signature method of combining style with personal development. Lauren bridges personal styling and life coaching to curate a closet and look that supports one’s goals and takes the stress and self-doubt out of looking ones best. Welcome to the podcast, Lauren. Thanks so much for being here.

Lauren (01:28):

Hello, my friend.

Whitney (01:29):

I’m so happy to finally get you on this podcast. I mean, we met years ago on Amy Porterfield stage and I just instantly clicked with you. I love that you have this spiritual take on style and I wanted you to really break it down for our listeners today because style, I think, and of course I wanna get your opinion, is more than just wearing clothes. It’s, it’s a whole comprehensive list of things. So with that, would you share with our listeners what style means to you?

Lauren (02:09):

Yeah, so style is been important to me since I was a little girl because I’m a weirdo introvert. Don’t, like I can’t do people-ing well. And when I discovered that, when I put something on it was how I was able to express myself and it would invite people in to speak to me and start conversation. I was like, Ooh, this is kind of like a little superpower that I have and even getting older, like in high school and things, I never really fit with a group. So I would use style to like infiltrate, be like, are these my people? Are these my people? And into adulthood, for me it’s all about self-expression completely. So I don’t know, you just get to shape shift, be somewhat different and have fun so I just, I love everything about style.

Whitney (03:02):

I love everything you said. So many of our listeners are gonna resonate with that. I felt that way as a kid too. I, on the outside looked like I fit in, but I never felt like I fit in on the inside and I almost, I was just talking about this the other day, would conform my energy and shift it based on who I was talking to.

Lauren (03:25):


Whitney (03:26):

And I feel like this conversation’s gonna go in that direction with style and clothes and, you know how that works. What’s so interesting for me is I’ll wake up sometimes and feel like I wanna wear this and then I’ll wake up and I’ll wanna feel, feel like I’m wearing something completely different which, what do you think that is?

Lauren (03:43):

I mean, I feel like myself, I’m very sensitive to people’s energy and I don’t know, maybe it’s like a comfort thing on for them and for me because nobody likes to feel awkward in their clothes. So, you know, I was having a conversation with a woman the other day who’s like a style psychologist and it’s like, well where do you draw the line between dressing authentically and dressing for other people? And it’s like, there’s rules. There’s rules. You can’t roll into a wedding like wearing overalls, like you have to adhere to the dress code. So I think in life we kind of try to adhere to dress codes that don’t exist per se, like hanging out with this person, I should dress a certain way or waking up I feel this way, I should do this, like it’s been raining in LA the past two days and instantly you wanna wear a sweater, you wanna be cozy, like what is that? There’s some energetic code

Whitney (04:40):

I agree.

Lauren (04:41):

That has us behaving, dressing according to what the frequency is at that time.

Whitney (04:47):

Hmm. I love this. You know, as an empath I feel that sometimes I will adapt to someone’s energy. So it’s this weird line of well I can comfort, but also I wanna create more of my, making sure that it’s, it’s my authenticness. So I wanna dive more into signature style. I think that has a lot to do with energy too. But before we talk about that, how do you feel that spirituality and style are related?

Lauren (05:22):

To me, spirituality is like every part of you and you know, you start by putting it in you, but it, it seeps out in the way that you handle situations, the way you behave, the way you interact, so why wouldn’t the way you visibly present yourself, why wouldn’t that have a piece of it? And I think it’s funny, probably gonna get some people that don’t like this, but a lot of people in the spiritual community that I don’t feel are fully in tune with spirit, they’re kind of wearing the spirituality costume.

Whitney (06:00):

Totally get, totally get it.

Lauren (06:02):

Especially in LA, there’s like different dress codes for different levels of spirituality.

Whitney (06:09):

Totally understand that, living in Sedona, Arizona,

Lauren (06:13):

Right, exactly, so it’s like there’s that but I think I talk about this with my clients like reaching like style nirvana where you get to this point where you’re so in tune with who you are, your energy, what you’re all about, that you can’t help but to dress in such an authentic expression of that spirit. You know, we don’t have to call it spirituality, that spirit, that people just get you and I think that’s the journey that I’ve been on for my whole entire life because I’ve done every piece of following the style rule. I know all the style psychology, dress like this and this will help you get the job or get the guy. But at the end of the day, if you don’t feel in alignment with who you are, so I’m like, someone’s gonna have to accept me in my like goofy like Cosby show looking sweater and I could be my most authentic self and show up the most powerfully in that way, and I think people get confused because they wanna rebel against style and they start wearing things that they think represents who they are inside, what their spirit is, and it’s like, girl that ain’t you.

Whitney (07:25):


Lauren (07:26):

And for me, I don’t know what you would call it, but I feel like I am, I’m like a knower, like I just can recognize energy and just know and I can kind of see people to be like, now that ain’t your jam, like you should be wearing this. Which is why I’ve been so successful as a stylist but people feel in alignment. They’re like, wait, this is how I should have looked the whole time. I’m like, yeah, because that was you. We just expressed it through some fabric and some accessories and stuff.

Whitney (07:55):

Hmm, I like that. So you’re using your intuitive language as the channeler that knows.

Lauren (08:01):


Whitney (08:01):

You can just kind of get the energy of this is what it is. I do feel like so many spiritual people, especially empaths, have trouble finding what their style is or who they are, identity wise, because they’re taking in so many other different people’s information and thoughts and feelings and just as you said, you know, this is what a spiritual person looks like. I remember when I first started my business years ago, back in this one room office across right now the US. It was on in North Carolina and people would say, oh my gosh, I just had a reading with a psychic medium and she dressed normal. I thought that was hilarious. I was like, yeah, you don’t have to be a certain way or look a certain way.

Whitney (08:49):

It’s what do you feel excited to wear, right? Like what do you feel most powerful in. And I started to notice that when I’m getting ready to have a meeting or I’m planning, I will have a spirit guide that will tell me what earrings to wear and what color to wear and I swear it works. So they might not tell me this looks best with this, but they’ll say, this is like the power that you need to embody today or the color, the energy, the frequency of the vibration. And right now it’s like hot pink is my thing. So if I’m wearing pink and even subdued level of pink, it must be my heart chakra or those power color, but I will feel differently. And I really like that way that I feel, which is, I think so challenging sometimes for spiritual people because one, they might think I’ve transcended, you know, this world and you know, these clothes don’t matter and they’re not really realizing that this is just a different way to express themselves because we have four spiritual bodies. Well, when I say spiritual bodies, we actually have a spiritual body, an emotional body, a mental body, and a physical body and I think too many spiritual people neglect that physical aspect of themselves and it can be such an expression of your energy, and would you agree with that?

Lauren (10:13):

A hundred percent. I mean we can’t deny that people have eyes and people have intuition and gut feelings and a lot of that comes visually. So to me it’s like you get to invite in certain energies or not invite in certain energies by the way that you dress, like if it’s early in the morning and it’s cold and I’m don’t feel like talking to people, I’m gonna dress in a certain way so people don’t say hello to me when I’m walking my dog.

Whitney (10:43):

Ooh, that’s a good one. I hadn’t even thought about that. I get that now.

Lauren (10:46):

You know? But if you’re like, ooh, like I’m cute today, I wanna meet people. You’re more inclined to go out. You’re more inclined to smile. People are coming up to you and you’re inviting in positive energy. You know, I met this young entrepreneur at an event and she was like, Lauren, like you’re so good at like reading people and their style like do me, do me. I was like, girl, you don’t want me to do, you don’t want me to do it, you don’t want me to do it. She’s like, do it. I can take it. I was like, girl, you dress like a hoe?

Lauren (11:18):

She was like, what? I said yes. I said, you’re a smart, brilliant woman, but I can tell you’re holding your purse like over your crotch ‘cuz your dress is too short. She’s like, how did you know? ‘Cause I could see it. So I said, you’re inviting in a different energy field at this event. You’re inviting in the male gaze, you’re inviting in people hitting on you, but you’re here for your business. Who do you wanna meet? Other women, they don’t wanna talk to the girl holding the purse over her crotch. They feel threat, you know? So it’s like there’s so many ways that style can communicate and there’s different facets of who you are that you get to make that decision every time you step into your closet.

Whitney (11:59):

So why do you think someone would show up to that event and I’m guessing she felt insecure at that time? So not necessarily just in that example, but why do you think people will choose an outfit that when they go out into public, they will feel insecure in and it doesn’t reflect the energy, and I think somewhere down deep they know it doesn’t coincide with their goals, right?

Lauren (12:25):

Yeah. So I mean I had like a great conversation with this young entrepreneur and she was like, oh my gosh, like no one’s ever put it like this. And she said, honestly, I have confidence issues with my body and I was never accepted by men and now that my body is like a certain way and I get the attention, she’s like, that’s the only attention I know, I know how to get. So I think people tune into different aspects of their own spirit where they feel really comfortable, where there’s certain things I’m very confident in and others I’m not, but you’re gonna default to what that thing is. So I think people who reject style, it’s like, no, I’m so confident in who I am as a person and you should accept me and like I’ve been wear this stuff. It’s like, but what if we opened up this different channel that made a different energy available to you?

Whitney (13:21):

Yeah, that’s so insightful. I’m having a lot of light bulbs go off just, you know, seeing people on Instagram or things like that. I’m like, gosh, what you’re wearing doesn’t quite go with the vibe I think that you’re trying to attract, and now I get it. That’s, that’s actually like, oh yeah, now, now I understand this. Thank you for saying it. So it’s almost like sometimes we can dress where our wounds are.

Lauren (13:46):


Whiney (13:47):

It sounds like.

Lauren (13:49):

Yes, and I think because especially for people who are spiritual or intellectual, this is the, usually the last thing on the list that they wanna focus on is style. But if you actually take a personal development, spiritual self-help approach to style to really understand and like as you were talking earlier about empaths, taking other energy when you focus in just as you would do in a journaling practice, a prayer, a meditation, but do it directed towards your outer shell, you can get more in tune with who you are and it’s like, ooh, okay, this makes sense. This is not so hard and I think it helps fortify your own identity and energy, not that you could like completely block out, you know, if you’re an empath, you’re an empath, but I think it can help fortify and kind of remind you who the heck you are.

Whitney (14:45):

Ooh. So something that came up as you’re talking, I was also getting some remembrances or memories, whatever you wanna call them. And I thought, okay, when I was younger I got some unwanted attention from men. I felt really uncomfortable ao I started never wearing makeup, didn’t really care about my hair, put it up in a bun and really dressed down. And I remember my mom saying, why don’t you care? Like let’s go shopping. I was like, no, I’m not gonna do it and this lasted for years and it wasn’t really until maybe the last seven years or so, five years or so where I got really more interested and confident in who I was and wanted to really dress in a way that I felt really competent in. And then I think that we can come up with these excuses, like I haven’t, you know, I’m raising my hand for this, I haven’t lost enough weight yet. I don’t wanna buy clothes ’cause I haven’t lost the weight or whatever it is. And something shifted within me where I said I don’t care, like I’m still gonna buy clothes that feel good. So I bought the extra sizes, like after my two surgeries, I had gained so much weight and I was like, I’m gonna buy the extra sizes, like the larger sizes and I felt so much freaking better. It’s like, oh yeah.

Lauren (16:05):


Whitney (16:05):

Right. So how do you feel that somebody can overcome that not wanting to be seen, whether it could be I’m ashamed of telling people really who I am or I can’t talk about my spiritual abilities, so maybe they go into this place of hiding and an excuse of how style doesn’t really, you know, matter to them when in fact it’s just an expression. How do you feel like people make that transition or is there a tool that can kind of help them to do that?

Lauren (16:37):

Yeah, there’s, there’s a couple things. I think one is kind of from like a business standpoint that I’ll tell my students that I coach, like you’re robbing people, you’re robbing people if you’re not sharing your gift. And it’s like, how dare you if like God has given you a gift and you’re over here holding back because oh my gosh, like I’m a little fat or like, oh my gosh, you know, people are looking at my boobs. It’s like really? Really?

Whitney (17:11):


Whitney (17:11):

You are, you’re gonna keep people from having all this magical stuff you have for that because you know, we both had surgery recently and you’re swollen, you’re not as active, we’re also getting older. I’m like, huh.

Whitney (17:28):


Lauren (17:28):

It’s not just an instant add to cart for small anymore. Sometimes we gotta be like, do I need a medium? And it, you know, it feels weird but when you think about growing up, oh my god, I was so, oh I’m so fat, I can’t wear this bikini and then you look back, you’re like, what I would do for that fat body today because I was skinny?

Whitney (17:47):


Lauren (17:48):

So like our perception can be so warped and it’s like why are we robbing people from from our gifts? That’s one. But the second thing that came up for me recently working with the hypnotherapist and I don’t know, you know how some things are like, really Lauren, you’re, this is your light bulb moment, like you should have got this long freaking time ago, but we were talking about loving yourself. She’s like, yeah, you really need to get into like, you know, fully like self-love loving yourself. I was like, girl, I’ve been doing that. I love all of this and then this light bulb went off. I was like, no, self love is full self-acceptance and celebration of who you are in that very moment. So it’s like, why would you torture yourself wearing something too small, opening up the drawer and being like, there’s those jeans that don’t fit. Someone who really loved themself would not feel all squose up and tight in their clothes.

Whitney (18:49):


Lauren (18:50):

And it’s like once you get that download of love, then it’s like, oh, a person who really loves themself isn’t going to eat Reese’s white chocolate peanut butter pumpkins for breakfast, raising my hand, like she’s gonna eat something healthy and go to the gym and it gets this like domino effect. So I think a lot of people think with how you look, body image, self-love is like throwing in the towel, acceptance is throwing in the towel. It’s like, no, how do you show up as someone who’s like genuinely okay with who they are in the moment and just let that continue to, to go? So why wouldn’t you dress nice for the day even if you’re by yourself in your office, a person who really loves themself and their gifts and everything, you know, spirit has given them, they would show up.

Whitney (19:44):

I love that. Thank you for putting it out in those steps. It’s like, oh yeah, of course. Why am I torturing myself by trying to wear two sizes that I wore years ago, like smaller or whatever. I totally get that, and you brought up another point of looking back at the photos and I think that’s a great indication when you think to yourself. At that time I thought I was too fat and look at me at that time actually I was beautiful and if we can just start to celebrate ourselves in the moment and recognize we’re beautiful and love ourself so that we’re not really being too worried about the future of when we lose 10 pounds or how we looked, you know, 10 years ago. It’s like, you know, love yourself now.

Lauren (20:32):

I mean it’s, it’s like, it’s really crazy. I was writing a caption for Instagram today, just telling people like, you’re not too old to start your business or do whatever and I’m reflecting back, like when I started my business I was 28 years old and I started off as an an unpaid intern. I swore I was so old at 28 and now I’m like, haha, my 42 year old self is like, you thought you were old?

Whitney (20:56):


Lauren (20:58):

Like we’ve got to stay in the moment cuz we would do that for our spirituality. Stay in the moment. Why would we not do, why would we not take those principles and apply them to every aspect of our life?

Whitney (21:11):

Hmm. That’s really good. Absolutely. It’s important to stay in the present moment. And so if you’re listening and you’re hearing that and you know that on a spiritual concept, apply this to what Lauren is saying too. I definitely get that. So Lauren, I wanna ask you about manifesting and how you do this with style and combine some spiritual approaches but I’m gonna come back and have Lauren share her tips when we come back after this really quick break.

Whitney (21:46):

All right. Thanks for hanging in there. I’ve got Lauren Messiah on the podcast and she is dropping so much wisdom about how spirituality and your style goes together. So I’ve known Lauren for a few years. One of the things that she does is she has a vision board or she does some manifesting. She does some journaling and it’s been pretty powerful. So Lauren, I wanted to ask you a couple questions about manifesting. And one of the questions, where do you feel, because we were just talking about present moment and ow important that is. Where do you feel your energy has to be in order to manifest your goals, and what does that look like with style?

Lauren (22:31):

Yeah, so you know, one of the big principles when it comes to manifesting is like being the person now who you’re trying to manifest in the future. And you know, people throw that around like, oh yeah, just do that but in practical practice you’re like, wait, what? And I think style is one of the easiest ways to physically embody the future version of you. So one of the exercises that I have my clients do is, you know, when you create a vision board for your life, or if you’re someone who closes your eyes and visualizes, or if you’re journaling and you’re scripting, you’re writing out this great life for yourself, close your eyes and then open up and look at your outfit and is like, is this the person you’re like, Ooh, I imagine myself like working in an office overlooking the ocean and my private vegan chef is coming in and bringing me lunch and then you’re wearing these like disgusting dirty sweatpants and your hair is not brushed.

Lauren (23:39):

Like do you really see that version of yourself there? So you know, imagine what that person would be like and it doesn’t mean go spend all your money now shopping on Rodeo Drive but it’s those things of like, ooh, I would wake up and I would actually get dressed and I would put on a little bit of makeup and I would do my hair. I would go shopping at a nicer store. It doesn’t mean you have to buy anything now, but change that frequency and that energy because again, that’s what you’re inviting in, like one of my favorite books, Stuart Wild, The Trick to Money, is having some, and I read that like 13 years ago and it changed everything for me with like money and manifesting. So he said, if you’re gonna go to a coffee shop and work, instead of going to Starbucks, go to the Four Seasons. It’s the same cup of coffee costs about the same, maybe dollar more, I don’t know but sit there in that energy. So if you’re used to like shop in the clearance racket, target, ain’t nothing wrong with Target, but also walk around the nice store and feel that elevated energy ’cause it’s gonna project you faster and further onto like what your ultimate vision is gonna be.

Whitney (24:58):

Mm-Hmm. Yes, I talk about the future self with my students and Intuition Abundance Academy. And if you’re listening out there, listen to what Lauren is saying. I hundred percent believe that and what’s interesting is when people will do an exercise like this, they’ll sometimes feel, like empaths will feel, they’ll feel the difference in fabric, like, ooh, it’s kind of a silk, or ooh, it’s a satin, or whatever it is. There’s a quality too with are you wearing quality clothes or is it really cheap? I think, like cheaper made.

Lauren (25:36):

Right, I mean you could even go further down the rabbit hole, you know, for me it’s like I would rather buy something vintage that obviously the quality was so great and to me it has like a great story, like you can imagine who owned it before you and you’re recycling, like it’s all this great energy, same price thrifting or vintage shopping, then getting something at fast fashion, Zara, H&M, that was probably made by a very unhappy worker.

Whitney (26:05):


Lauren (26:06):

You know, so it’s like people who are really in tune with their own energy, like you can pick that stuff up. So, you know, I think there’s so much to what we wear color theory, energy of how it was made, the fabric and it’s like my boy, Steve Harvey, you know, says once you fly first class, it’s real hard to go back to couch. Once you wear a piece of clothing that fits really nice and the fabric is nice, you’ve elevated yourself to be like, okay, this is how we roll now so how do we become more successful? How do we do the thing so I always have this?

Whitney (26:46):


Lauren (26:47):

It’s like eating good food. I ate stuff that I ate when I was a child. I was like, this is disgusting. I ate this?

Whitney (26:52):

Yeah, I know

Lauren (26:54):

The heck.

Whitney (26:56):

It’s like the memory of the food is totally different than if you try to eat it again. It’s like, oh my God but like I remember it was such great comfort food, but it doesn’t have the same effect anymore.

Lauren (27:06):


Whitney (27:07):

Yeah. That’s a great tip. So I wanted to ask you, how did you decide to combine spirituality with style? I think this is such a unique approach. How did it come to you and how’s your personal experience? I’ve know, I know that you’ve seen amazing results with your clients, but tell me a little bit more about that holistic approach.

Lauren (27:27):

So for me, one, it can like I became my best client. When I started styling, I was doing celebrity styling and it did not feel fulfilling at all. I knew I loved fashion from a young age. I’m like, I’m living the dream. I’m working on likeHollywood set, a music video. I’m like, I feel nothing here except these celebrities are really annoying and I don’t like this. So then I started working with private clients and I would notice that it wasn’t actually the clothes that was making them feel good. It was the whole entire process because in order for me to quickly dress someone that I barely know that I just met like three days ago, I had to deep dive into who they were in order to do my job successfully. So I would ask them questions that they were like, what does this have to do with style?

Lauren (28:21):

I’m like, don’t worry about it. I gotta figure out who you are, like this is just my process and through working with them, like getting deep, asking deeper questions, figuring out their goals for life, I could tune into who they were and they felt seen and they felt more themselves. So I was like, huh, there’s something to this. Fast forward, I had been working for years with private clients, but I felt stagnant in my own life. My business wasn’t moving the way I wanted to move. I just felt a little off. So I was like, I’m gonna be my client. So that’s when I started to do dig deeper into who I actually was, what I actually wanted and because I just love spirituality and self-help, I’m kind of naturally a dot connector and my clients would be like, Hey, could you tell us more about that like spirituality stuff you do because I’d post on Instagram, just the stuff I’m into. They’re like, we want more of that and just slowly it just became one, you know?

Whitney (29:24):

Mm. Yeah, I’m so glad because it’s more than just clothes. It’s, it is your energy, your inner work, your personality. I feel like I’m guessing, so I want you to tell me, but I’m guessing that when your clients have taken your program or they’ve applied your techniques, they walk away with more self-love and feeling like they know exactly who they are in confidence.

Lauren (29:49):

Yeah. And they feel it’s a, it’s a process just as your spiritual practice is, it’s a practice. You don’t just be like, oh, I meditate four times, I’m good. It’s like,

Whitney (30:00):

Yeah, right.

Lauren (30:01):

I got my connection with God, I’m good. It’s like, no, this is a relationship, girl, like we gotta do this all the time so they realize that it’s not this destination and that’s what upsets me about the fashion industry, like, I don’t like the fashion industry. I don’t like how they make women feel. I don’t like how we feel. I have to buy all this stuff to be like cool and pretty and accepted. It’s like get off the hamster wheel and understand it’s a journey.

Whitney (30:29):


Lauren (30:30):

And that it’s constant evolution and you constantly get to revisit it, but in like a very holistic manner. It’s not like, ooh, the fall runway shows came out, get your credit cards out. It’s like you feel in touch with yourself. I’m reaching a new level. It’s time to evaluate the insides and the outsides and keep moving forward, so they love it. It’s just like, I think because a lot of the people I work with are not what you would say are like typical, like we’re misfits, like my clients are misfits. I’m a misfit, they’re a misfit and they kind of get to have their own approach to style that doesn’t make sense, but like they look good.

Whitney (31:14):


Lauren (31:15):

And people, maybe they weren’t the cool ones in high school, but now like they cool.

Whitney (31:21):

Yes. Well, I mean, your energy when you’re expressing yourself that way is confident, like, look at me like, you know, I think that has a lot to do with it. Does, I think we’ve always kind of looked at style as that traditional styling industry and I love that you are literally revolutionizing it, looking at it in a different way. You can tell people’s charisma their energy, you feel it and if your style is on point with that, then that’s just gonna amplify what you’ve got. So this brings me to a question I don’t wanna forget about it. What is someone’s signature style?

Lauren (31:59):

So to me, a signature style is like the des-, like the blueprint of who you are in clothing because listen, every day we feel a little bit different, you know, like as you were saying, like, ooh, today I’m in the mood for this. But overall there’s kind of an umbrella in which we can live under stylistically. So one of the things I see a lot of my clients struggle with is they’re using impulse instead of intuition when it comes to clothing. So it’s like, Ooh, I’m shopping, and like, that’s pretty, it’s a pig tutu, I’ll take it. It it’s like, no, like that is not, so when you work on developing your signature style, you get in tune with, Ooh, I really gravitate towards pink, but my overall energy is more nurturing and calming. So can I wear pink but do it in a way that aligns with my personality? So now we kind of have some parameters around our style which makes it easier to shop, makes you spend less money and to me it’s creating an identity. So you get to name it, you get to name the style, so you don’t have to go buy the fashion stuff of like, Ooh, I’m just the boho chick, you know, who wears you know, a felt floppy hat. It’s like, no, you get to say like, Ooh, I’m the edgy bohemian, like spiritual goddess, like that’s my signature style.

Whitney (33:32):

Yes. I love that.

Lauren (33:33):

And the meaning of that to me is wearing rich colors, wearing luxurious fabrics, wearing lots of layers, however you wanna describe it, so you kind of get your physical blueprint when it comes to style.

Whitney (33:47):

Hmm. That’s so good. So Lauren, tell us how you work with clients and where they can find you. I know that you have a book, which is amazing. Tell us a little bit more about that.

Lauren (33:59):

Yeah, so I have a book, it’s called Style Therapy, 30 Days to Your Signature Style and I’d say this is the easiest way for people to work with me because it’s like, go on Amazon or wherever books are sold, wherever you like to buy books, $20, and it’s literally the system in which I would take a client through, but turned in a way that you can do it yourself and it’s like journaling. There’s space for vision boards, like it’s actually really fun. So if you wanna take yourself through a transformation inside and out, that book is the way to go. I also have an online community called Style Confidence Collective. So if you wanna be with other like-minded women who are going through the style journey together and spirituality and personal development, we got like a cool club where they do those things, so those are the best ways. Well, just follow me on Instagram and get you some fun tips, YouTube, watch some fun videos. I’m all around.

Whitney (35:03):

I love Lauren’s Instagram. I’m gonna link all of these in the show notes, so if you’re listening and you’re like, Ooh, ooh, don’t worry, you just will find them in the show notes. And lastly, Lauren, I wanted to ask you which I know, but I wanted to see your definition. How does being spiritual and ambitious show up for you in your business?

Lauren (35:24):

Mm. The best way it shows up for me is I get to do things the way I wanna do things.

Whitney (35:31):


Lauren (35:32):

So, so you know, being an entrepreneur for the past 13 years and being around other entrepreneurs, you know, so it’s a very ambitious environment. You’re like, oh, are you implementing this type of strategy? Are you doing this? And it’s exhausting and I would burn myself out. I would just run hard and be driven and I could go, I could run for a while until I hit the brick wall like smack in my face and would be out. So now like real, like I love human design, I love human design. I’m a projector, so it turns out I need to rest and I had found that out, not even through human design, but through an energy reading that I had. And she’s like, you need to nap and rest. I was like, girl, I don’t do that. Absolutely not. And then I did human design. I was like, okay. She was onto something.

Whitney (36:22):

Yes, she was.

Lauren (36:23):

She was onto something. So I feel like I just work in my own little lane of, yeah, you can have everything you want and sometimes what you think you want isn’t what you want.

Whitney (36:36):


Lauren (36:37):

So it gets so competitive, like, oh, do you have a 7, 8, 9 figure? 20 figure business? It’s like, right, maybe you don’t even want that, like, could I serve people, feel happy every day, reach my goals, but also like go outside and make sure I have time for, you know, meditation or reading a great book. It’s just like finding that perfect harmony that works for me and doesn’t have to work for the outside world, like, y’all do your thing, I’ll do mine.

Whitney (37:08):

Yes, use your intuition and paying attention to our energy I think is just so important. I’ve really started to redefine success is am I feeling good, or am I stressed out, or I’m I burnt out? So that’s really great wisdom. I wanted to share with our listeners and with you, the cards that I pulled for today.

Lauren (37:32):

I was just gonna say, I was like, before we go, could I please give you a shout out? Your card deck is legit. And I’m not saying this ’cause we are friends, it is legit my favorite deck and I have a whole drawer full of decks. Your deck is right by my bed.

Whitney (37:47):

Oh, yay.

Lauren (37:48):

And it’s, how did you make it so good?

Whitney (37:52):

I love it. I, you know, I love getting your messages where you’re like, you know, your card just called me, out.

Lauren (38:00):

They did. And I was telling my friends about them and they came over, they’re like, will you do something for me? And they’re like, how do I order these? They’re like, you know the girl that did this? I was like, I do. I do. They’re so good. All right. Enough. Go on,

Whitney (38:15):

Oh, thank you. Yeah, like after doing years of readings, I just really had all these ideas from Spirit and I knew what worked best in the cards and finally they’ve come to fruition, they’ve manifested, so I’m happy that you are using them. And the first card that I pulled for everybody today is synchronicity. You’re on the right path. Everything’s coming together. So little feathers, little signs know that it is in that place and then I also have the throat chakra speak your truth and be authentic. That is what we’re talking about today. So what comes up for you, Lauren, in these cards, other than I feel like the throat chakra is very clear, like be and dress your authentic self. Express it that way.

Lauren (39:03):

Yeah. Pull up that first one. I gotta drink that in ‘ cause I’ve never seen that card before. Mm-Hmm. I love, I’m like, Ooh, that just like looking at that like just gives me chills. Ooh.

Whitney (39:15):

Little feathers, little signs. You are on the right path.

Lauren (39:19):


Whitney (39:19):

How do you feel like that plays out in style? Like kind of knowing that, Ooh, I’ve got my right style.

Lauren (39:26):

Yeah, I mean, to me everything, just like you we’re saying it just when everything feels right. I mean, I think sometimes the word alignment is like a bit overused sometimes, but it’s true. Like when you can just sit with yourself and not be fidgeting at your clothes, not be preoccupied with how you look or how people are looking at you and you just feel like you, ?ou know>

Whitney (39:56):


Lauren (39:58):

It’s like this morning I just threw on this outfit, it’s like mismatched this dress and sweater, and I put on tights and a boot and boots and I was just like, I feel completely like me. And I’ve had this dress for, I don’t know, six years. And I was like, I feel so me and for some reason it just felt like everything’s okay. It’s kind of like when you feel deja vu, and you’re like, oh, I feel like I’ve done this before and to me it feels like that means I’m on the right path because everything just feels like yes. And I think when you’re in tune with your style, because there’ll be times where I’m like, I wanna burn my whole closet down

Whitney (40:42):


Lauren (40:43):

Because it’s like, it’s not me anymore, like it’s not me anymore. I have to get back into alignment. And when you are, it just feels like the yellow brick road just like

Whitney (40:52):

Opens up, right.

Lauren (40:53):

Opens up and you just go for everything you want, so.

Whitney (40:57):

Mm. Yeah. That’s helpful. So those are some signs knowing that your style is coming together, literally like, oh yeah, it’s all coming together. And also it gives our listeners permission to change your style because you are a change old being, you’re evolving. I talk about this a lot with the intuitive languages. A lot of times people will say, yes, you know, I’m a seer, I’m a channeler which is great and I want people to really love the way it comes in for them but as you grow as an energy being, your intuitive language might shift and change. Your energy shifts and changes and so does your styles. It’s all connected. It’s all connected. So thank you so much, Lauren, for being here. I appreciate you. I love talking to you, and you’ve given such great insight, especially for the new year. This is a great time to recommit to ourselves, love ourselves, a lot of self-care.

Lauren (41:50):

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Thank you for having me, delightful conversation.

Whitney (41:55):

Absolutely. All right. So you can learn more about Lauren in the show notes, and I will be back next week with a brand new episode. But until then, here’s to Staying Spiritual and Ambitious. Thanks so much for listening to this episode. And if you loved it, would you please share it with a friend? I would also love your review and a reminder to subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can find me at messengerofspirit.com, and you can take the four intuitive languages quiz and find show notes there too. If you wanna connect on YouTube, Facebook, or Instagram, you can find me at @messengerofspirit. I’ll meet you right here next week. Here’s to staying spiritual and ambitious.

Speaker 3 (42:46):

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Transcript: How To Find Your Signature Style With Lauren Messiah

Feb 2, 2023